George Washington, a really quick life story.

Chris Jackson as George Washington the Broadway musical Hamilton. (Please note that everything may not be historically accurate as most of it is Broadway and Wikipedia) Also the songs linked may have swears the only one I’m worried about is here comes the president but ehh.

The 22 of February is George Washington’s Birthday so I thought I’d share my facts about the general who dedicated for 45 years of his life to Americas service. Now I’m not American so I learned all these facts either via the Broadway musical: Hamilton by Lin-Manuel Miranda or I dug a little deeper into it. The Broadway is amazing, I have cried just thinking about some of the songs. I truly recommend it but now lets focus on George Washing Machine! Here comes the general! George Washington was the commander of his army for the American Revolution, joined by Alexander Hamilton. Now I don’t want this to be like a history lesson so I’ll just be telling fun facts and a few important parts. Washington made inexperienced Charles Lee a general causing many deaths in the battles he fought, for example the battle of Monmouth. After the battle he and Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier de Lafayette (who thought of Washington as a father) sat underneath a tree and talked about how Charles Lee was the worst, then fell asleep underneath Washington’s coat. Dorks But his most notable success was the one which ended the war. Yorktown, Lafayette was waiting in Chesapeake Bay for the British army. But how did they know that this plan would work? They had a spy on the inside that’s right, Hercules Mulligan (a solider and friend of Alexander Hamilton) was spying on the British Government taking information and smuggling up to his commanders. He was one of the first few people to join the group the Sons of Liberty, apparently loving it. So after a week of fighting the British surrendered and they won and so started his career as president. Please rise for your president! He was unanimously elected as president, and had Alexander Hamilton as his treasury and Thomas Jefferson as his Secretary of State. They hated each other and formed separate parties even though Washington was against it. Hamilton formed the Federalist Party and Jefferson the Jeffersonian Republicans, I can’t believe he just used his last name for his party I mean what a loser. Heh heh. I mean they all sucked but whatever.

But Hamilton was Washington’s favourite so he was picked. But he wasn’t all tough stuff and politics, apparently during dinners instead of talking to his guests he’d just use his knife and fork as drumsticks and tap on the plates. Just imagine Jefferson watching ‘Mr President’ playing some random tune during an important dinner and just thinking: ‘what?’ But all good things must come to and end and after 45 years of service to the country (this is including the army and presidency) he retired to mount vernon with his wife Martha Washington to plant things such as Tobacco and more but it didn’t end to well. One last time… George Washington’s death is one of the most funny yet saddest deaths* I have ever read, because it could have been so easily avoided but, well history is history. So Washington had retried and was living with Martha, who he never had children with they just raised the children from Martha’s last marriage. One day when Washington was out surveying the tobacco it was snowing, and since he got caught up in the snow, he was left with little time for dinner so when he got home and Martha basically said to him:

“Hey its snowing you should take your coat off” but since George was known for being on time so he didn’t do it.

*Jump cut to funeral*

Long story short, Washington got a really bad cold and it affected his throat, so Martha called a doctor who made him a mixture of Honey, Molasses and butter which stuck in his throat and almost choked him to death. Great job doctor, so they called 2 more doctors but then Washington knew he was going die so he made Martha get his two wills and decide on one, after he did he thanked the doctors and died surrounded by his family. It was written down as a throat infection but the doctors in that time did a procedure where they take the blood out of the body to try to remove the sickness and now people are thinking that Washington might have died because of blood loss as the doctors took to much of it. Honestly he might have gotten better but he couldn’t breathe so… Thanks for reading about George Washington one of the founding fathers of America, now please keep in mind that the founding fathers were dorks and not these high and mighty people but still were absolute losers who did stupid stuff honestly don’t cheat on your wife or raise your gun towards the sky *cough cough Hamilton*. God, what dorks. You have no control, who lives, who dies, who tells your story. #History